don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out;
firstly YES, I finally changed my blog theme/skin.
and a lot of you don't like it. :( that's a pity.
hm I might try to look for nicer skins in my spare time.
which....I happen to have very little of considering I am in my final year.
plus I have like a gazillion submissions coming up so there's that.
I have been pretty busy lately with lots of lab work and studying for mid terms in general.
my student also has her exams around the corner so I do have to give her some time as well.
However, in the little time I have to socialize, I have found so many many many things that gnaw my mind.
And mind you, it is not like all these incidents took place in the span of like 1 or 2 weeks.
These incidents have been observed over a span of a few months,
And I finally feel like I have my thoughts in one place about them and I feel like I can share my take/reflection about these happenings.
so the first issue is clubbing.
Now, personally, this is not an issue or problem for me,
I have a lot of friends who club while I don't.
Almost all my good friends drink and club and while I am personally averse to these choices, I do not make a violent effort to curb their urges or tendencies.
I listen to their clubbing sagas with nothing more than mild amusement mostly.
And to be fair to my friends, most of them are responsible people who take ownership of their actions.
And when they don't, I am not at the receiving end of their lament, which is fine by me.
All this seems fair and nice. However, as I have started living on campus, there has been increasing pressure on me to club or at least visit a club once just for the sake of it.
I have received all sorts of highly unexpected and gravely senseless remarks ranging from being me boring to having an ego. (?)
I have friends who speculate that I don't drink because I have a holier-than-thou idea of it.
When I explained that I don't wish to spend money and time on something that does not fit my idea of fun and relaxation, I was told that girls can go in almost free and don't even have to pay for much alcohol since guys buy it for them most of them while chatting them up.
To that I said, I don't want to be objectifying my own body and sexuality to gather a few drinks for free, makes me feel cheap.
ANDDD because of that, I was told that I am egoistic. yeap, that's right.
Don't get my wrong. Lots of people meet great people at clubs and in fact form relationships.
But my friends and I both know that I would not be entering with that intention.
In such a scenario, would it be fair to rip off a guy a few free drinks and act coy just to save a buck?
ESPECIALLY when I don't even find the idea fun or remotely relaxing.
Of course many women might be doing that, and they might have personal reasons for doing so.
Which I would very much like to hear actually.
But I don't deem that as very self-respecting. THAT does not make me egoistic.
I cannot understand why it is so hard to see why someone would not want to enter a place with loud music, and half/full-inebriated folks dancing around and of course the great morning after deal that comes with it. Oh and not to forget the $$$ that will be spent. I would rather watch a movie with my friends and then go have macd and gossip. :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the second issue is that of double standards.
I think almost everyone, myself included, is guilty of this to some extent I am sure.
And if I do have any, I am always willing to discuss it out and correct it if need be.
Like I know I am an embarrassingly late person. And I am trying to make an effort to be punctual these days. But idk WHY I AM ALWAYS FREAKING UNLUCKY. but still not an excuse. Time is precious. Anyways why I am talking about this is to point out that when my friends are late due to any reason, I don't make any fuss out of it. No matter how late. Because I know I tend to do it a lot and I have no face to comment on it or feel hurt when I commit the mistake so many times. ok yes, not mistake. folly, but you get it. :(
Anyway back to the topic. It is painful to see glaring double standards that people espouse about so many large motifs and beliefs that they endorse or feel towards.
An almost amusingly aggravating example is as follows:
A: 3 idiots is one of my fav movies! The Asian education system and money-centric mindset is so harmful. India is going to end up producing more of those Gadhas than Phunsuk Wangdus. (if you have watched the movie, you will get the drift here)
B: I agree! Look at the American education system, it produces thinkers, innovators and creators. Asians just do things for monetary stability. We must bring change to this system. We need to stop producing engineers who ditch it and then go into MBA. Why waste money and resources doing an engineering degree if you are not good at it? if you have no interest in it as a profession?
^sounds good? very.
A and B also happen to be people who have possibly interned at a bank and have to say this about occupations and careers:
1.) Why would you go into a tech company if you can get a bank job with this degree? It pays much better.
2.) Who cares if people don't think Computer Engineers are not true Engineers, we earn the most!
3.) I'm gonna earn enough in these 3 years to complete my MBA.
.....
So the very ideas and notions you clearly trashed and opposed, shall be the ones you are glorifying now? Wait, so hold on, why did you pursue engineering again? Oh that's right, cause of the above reasons, which idk, sounds STRANGELY familiar to some character in that film eh.
I don't know about you, but I find that hilarious to say the least.
And this rhetoric has increased ten fold now that I am in my last year.
The more times I hear it, the more I feel like chortling. But of course, I keep silent and hear the glorious plans for the future.
And of course, my choice to not pursue a bank job has been questioned time and again. As are many of my unpopular choices.
And you cannot imagine how much self-control it takes for me to avoid letting out a snarky comment about this glaring double standards.
Side note: I do not espouse all the ideas peddled in 3 Idiots. I find a large part of unrealistic/idealistic and seemingly edging on a rant/whine. Of course, there are some things I do feel that need to be addressed, which the movie brought to light and I am thankful for that.
Another amusingly frustrating double standard: Pseudo-feminist ideologies and rhetoric
*after watching India's daughter*
A: I don't believe a woman's morality should be judged by her sense of dressing. I don't believe that a woman should be held to a different sense and idea of morality or modesty as compared to a man. A man does not have the right to infringe her personal space regardless of her sense of dressing or what she is wearing. A man should accord due respect and space to a woman regardless of her choice of dressing.
*when discussing certain contentious religious and cultural beliefs held in certain communities about how a woman is responsible for her sexual privacy and protection and thus, ought to dress and behave in a way that prevents the leering eyes of a man on her because if she does not, she has a part to play if something nasty happens to her. Also, a woman who does not partake in the custom, has lower/inferior moral/religious standards that will be judged in her afterlife. So clearly, the symbol prominent in her choice of dressing is not a harmless personal choice as such. *
A: It is a woman's choice how she wants to dress! She should be able to wear whatever she wants to wear! So if she wants to dress that way, she must have the choice.
OR
A(who belongs to the community/communities in question): This is a symbol of my feminism. I don't give man any more power over my body. I have power over my own body now. He can only judge me based on my words and not my looks any longer since he cannot. I am empowered.
sidenote: she dresses up color-coordinated with make up and an impeccable fashion sense.
I'M SORRY. But sadly. NO, this is not a personal and harmless choice of a lady you are allowing or supporting here. For goodness sake, this is a communal symbol. And of course I am not against communal symbols. But we must know what ideas we are allowing to be peddled among us in the forms of symbols and ideas.(anybody who knows me know how strongly I feel about not respecting ideas but rather respecting people) Everything and anything cannot be encouraged in society just on the basis of CHOICE. Indoctrination that leads to a falsified idea of autonomy and empowerment is dangerous and should not be allowed! There are little girls who are fed with these ideologies regularly to grow up to have a very warped sense of their body and femininity.
and disregarding all of that, the entire pseudo liberal/feminist stance on it almost tearfully amusing.
So you are taking all the action and precautions necessary to PROTECT yourself from the gaze of a man so he can speak to you without considering your looks. Please remind me how that is empowering you to say the least? You have to behave demure, and it is not like you can switch up your wardrobe. You have to have certain elements of clothing ALWAYS on when outside. regardless of rain or shine. Why? So that a man can talk to you without sexually objectifying you? Yeah, sounds reallyyy a lot like what you said when you watched India's daughter. -.- What you are essentially putting forth is a woman's personal sexual protection lies in her own hands. She ought to take the necessary actions at all times to ensure she is not violated or even distract a man with her darn good looks. And even if you put that aside, the ridiculous holier-than-thou meaning associated with the motif is not something that I would encourage.
You cannot imagine how aggravating it is to see the lack of sensible critique of ideas and instead just jumping on the bandwagon when anything sounds remotely politically correct/liberal-sounding.
And of course, you can stand for everything the motif or doctrine inculcates. And you can even support the right for someone who hold such views. BUT then, don't be shocked and disdainful when something similarly misogynistic comes out of a rapist's mouth. THAT is a double standard. and it pisses me off.
Sidenote: I am not one with raging feminist ideologies like the one in pink. I of course agree that a man must not violate a woman's sexual space and disrespect her ideas disregard her words based on her looks. However, I am a fan of dressing decently so as not to attract unwanted male and female attention when it is not warranted. Afterall, we are human and we cannot pretend to walk past a lady or man dressed skimpily without checking them out or at least glancing a little. Some people enjoy that glance and they are of course welcome to dress in a way that suits that stance. However I don't, hence my choices.
_______________________________________________________________________
Ok so I suppose that is it for now. I know I sound really angst-driven in this post but I do ought have an avenue to justify my choices and views especially when my peers dump theirs on me in a manner that does not allow for double-sided dialogue.
Guess I shall update again after exams! :) Tschuss!
and a lot of you don't like it. :( that's a pity.
hm I might try to look for nicer skins in my spare time.
which....I happen to have very little of considering I am in my final year.
plus I have like a gazillion submissions coming up so there's that.
I have been pretty busy lately with lots of lab work and studying for mid terms in general.
my student also has her exams around the corner so I do have to give her some time as well.
However, in the little time I have to socialize, I have found so many many many things that gnaw my mind.
And mind you, it is not like all these incidents took place in the span of like 1 or 2 weeks.
These incidents have been observed over a span of a few months,
And I finally feel like I have my thoughts in one place about them and I feel like I can share my take/reflection about these happenings.
so the first issue is clubbing.
Now, personally, this is not an issue or problem for me,
I have a lot of friends who club while I don't.
Almost all my good friends drink and club and while I am personally averse to these choices, I do not make a violent effort to curb their urges or tendencies.
I listen to their clubbing sagas with nothing more than mild amusement mostly.
And to be fair to my friends, most of them are responsible people who take ownership of their actions.
And when they don't, I am not at the receiving end of their lament, which is fine by me.
All this seems fair and nice. However, as I have started living on campus, there has been increasing pressure on me to club or at least visit a club once just for the sake of it.
I have received all sorts of highly unexpected and gravely senseless remarks ranging from being me boring to having an ego. (?)
I have friends who speculate that I don't drink because I have a holier-than-thou idea of it.
When I explained that I don't wish to spend money and time on something that does not fit my idea of fun and relaxation, I was told that girls can go in almost free and don't even have to pay for much alcohol since guys buy it for them most of them while chatting them up.
To that I said, I don't want to be objectifying my own body and sexuality to gather a few drinks for free, makes me feel cheap.
ANDDD because of that, I was told that I am egoistic. yeap, that's right.
Don't get my wrong. Lots of people meet great people at clubs and in fact form relationships.
But my friends and I both know that I would not be entering with that intention.
In such a scenario, would it be fair to rip off a guy a few free drinks and act coy just to save a buck?
ESPECIALLY when I don't even find the idea fun or remotely relaxing.
Of course many women might be doing that, and they might have personal reasons for doing so.
Which I would very much like to hear actually.
But I don't deem that as very self-respecting. THAT does not make me egoistic.
I cannot understand why it is so hard to see why someone would not want to enter a place with loud music, and half/full-inebriated folks dancing around and of course the great morning after deal that comes with it. Oh and not to forget the $$$ that will be spent. I would rather watch a movie with my friends and then go have macd and gossip. :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the second issue is that of double standards.
I think almost everyone, myself included, is guilty of this to some extent I am sure.
And if I do have any, I am always willing to discuss it out and correct it if need be.
Like I know I am an embarrassingly late person. And I am trying to make an effort to be punctual these days. But idk WHY I AM ALWAYS FREAKING UNLUCKY. but still not an excuse. Time is precious. Anyways why I am talking about this is to point out that when my friends are late due to any reason, I don't make any fuss out of it. No matter how late. Because I know I tend to do it a lot and I have no face to comment on it or feel hurt when I commit the mistake so many times. ok yes, not mistake. folly, but you get it. :(
Anyway back to the topic. It is painful to see glaring double standards that people espouse about so many large motifs and beliefs that they endorse or feel towards.
An almost amusingly aggravating example is as follows:
A: 3 idiots is one of my fav movies! The Asian education system and money-centric mindset is so harmful. India is going to end up producing more of those Gadhas than Phunsuk Wangdus. (if you have watched the movie, you will get the drift here)
B: I agree! Look at the American education system, it produces thinkers, innovators and creators. Asians just do things for monetary stability. We must bring change to this system. We need to stop producing engineers who ditch it and then go into MBA. Why waste money and resources doing an engineering degree if you are not good at it? if you have no interest in it as a profession?
^sounds good? very.
A and B also happen to be people who have possibly interned at a bank and have to say this about occupations and careers:
1.) Why would you go into a tech company if you can get a bank job with this degree? It pays much better.
2.) Who cares if people don't think Computer Engineers are not true Engineers, we earn the most!
3.) I'm gonna earn enough in these 3 years to complete my MBA.
.....
So the very ideas and notions you clearly trashed and opposed, shall be the ones you are glorifying now? Wait, so hold on, why did you pursue engineering again? Oh that's right, cause of the above reasons, which idk, sounds STRANGELY familiar to some character in that film eh.
I don't know about you, but I find that hilarious to say the least.
And this rhetoric has increased ten fold now that I am in my last year.
The more times I hear it, the more I feel like chortling. But of course, I keep silent and hear the glorious plans for the future.
And of course, my choice to not pursue a bank job has been questioned time and again. As are many of my unpopular choices.
And you cannot imagine how much self-control it takes for me to avoid letting out a snarky comment about this glaring double standards.
Side note: I do not espouse all the ideas peddled in 3 Idiots. I find a large part of unrealistic/idealistic and seemingly edging on a rant/whine. Of course, there are some things I do feel that need to be addressed, which the movie brought to light and I am thankful for that.
Another amusingly frustrating double standard: Pseudo-feminist ideologies and rhetoric
*after watching India's daughter*
A: I don't believe a woman's morality should be judged by her sense of dressing. I don't believe that a woman should be held to a different sense and idea of morality or modesty as compared to a man. A man does not have the right to infringe her personal space regardless of her sense of dressing or what she is wearing. A man should accord due respect and space to a woman regardless of her choice of dressing.
*when discussing certain contentious religious and cultural beliefs held in certain communities about how a woman is responsible for her sexual privacy and protection and thus, ought to dress and behave in a way that prevents the leering eyes of a man on her because if she does not, she has a part to play if something nasty happens to her. Also, a woman who does not partake in the custom, has lower/inferior moral/religious standards that will be judged in her afterlife. So clearly, the symbol prominent in her choice of dressing is not a harmless personal choice as such. *
A: It is a woman's choice how she wants to dress! She should be able to wear whatever she wants to wear! So if she wants to dress that way, she must have the choice.
OR
A(who belongs to the community/communities in question): This is a symbol of my feminism. I don't give man any more power over my body. I have power over my own body now. He can only judge me based on my words and not my looks any longer since he cannot. I am empowered.
sidenote: she dresses up color-coordinated with make up and an impeccable fashion sense.
I'M SORRY. But sadly. NO, this is not a personal and harmless choice of a lady you are allowing or supporting here. For goodness sake, this is a communal symbol. And of course I am not against communal symbols. But we must know what ideas we are allowing to be peddled among us in the forms of symbols and ideas.(anybody who knows me know how strongly I feel about not respecting ideas but rather respecting people) Everything and anything cannot be encouraged in society just on the basis of CHOICE. Indoctrination that leads to a falsified idea of autonomy and empowerment is dangerous and should not be allowed! There are little girls who are fed with these ideologies regularly to grow up to have a very warped sense of their body and femininity.
and disregarding all of that, the entire pseudo liberal/feminist stance on it almost tearfully amusing.
So you are taking all the action and precautions necessary to PROTECT yourself from the gaze of a man so he can speak to you without considering your looks. Please remind me how that is empowering you to say the least? You have to behave demure, and it is not like you can switch up your wardrobe. You have to have certain elements of clothing ALWAYS on when outside. regardless of rain or shine. Why? So that a man can talk to you without sexually objectifying you? Yeah, sounds reallyyy a lot like what you said when you watched India's daughter. -.- What you are essentially putting forth is a woman's personal sexual protection lies in her own hands. She ought to take the necessary actions at all times to ensure she is not violated or even distract a man with her darn good looks. And even if you put that aside, the ridiculous holier-than-thou meaning associated with the motif is not something that I would encourage.
You cannot imagine how aggravating it is to see the lack of sensible critique of ideas and instead just jumping on the bandwagon when anything sounds remotely politically correct/liberal-sounding.
And of course, you can stand for everything the motif or doctrine inculcates. And you can even support the right for someone who hold such views. BUT then, don't be shocked and disdainful when something similarly misogynistic comes out of a rapist's mouth. THAT is a double standard. and it pisses me off.
Sidenote: I am not one with raging feminist ideologies like the one in pink. I of course agree that a man must not violate a woman's sexual space and disrespect her ideas disregard her words based on her looks. However, I am a fan of dressing decently so as not to attract unwanted male and female attention when it is not warranted. Afterall, we are human and we cannot pretend to walk past a lady or man dressed skimpily without checking them out or at least glancing a little. Some people enjoy that glance and they are of course welcome to dress in a way that suits that stance. However I don't, hence my choices.
_______________________________________________________________________
Ok so I suppose that is it for now. I know I sound really angst-driven in this post but I do ought have an avenue to justify my choices and views especially when my peers dump theirs on me in a manner that does not allow for double-sided dialogue.
Guess I shall update again after exams! :) Tschuss!
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