wait for you;

I just read a few of my posts from my days in MGS.

and now I cannot stop crying.
shit.

and I put on elliot yamin's wait for you while reading because I read how much I loved it in passing in one of my posts. 
and I cried even more. because it is just relatable to my life at that time as well as my life now. 

I really need to build a time machine. I am not even joking or saying this lightly. 
I really need one. esp at this phase of my life. 
I just need to think the way I used to. 
even if my thinking was wrong and my mindset encouraged me to live in a lie. 

I have become so disgustingly escapist and I am not even ashamed. 


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